This story is to enlighten those who think there is no hope for shifts that take place in our lives. I was the young girl who never wanted children and my mind was made up to never have any. At the age of 21 years old, married for less than a year, the young girl who never wanted children ended up pregnant. I started experiencing being extremely tired, loss of energy and drained if that painted a picture. I experienced these feelings for a little over one month before making an appointment to go to the doctor.
I went to the doctor; they took a urine sample and performed the test, then came to tell me congratulations. I looked at the doctor and said, “Congratulations for what”, the doctor said you are about to be a mom. I looked at him and said, “No you are mistaken”. I then told the doctor, “You might want to run your test again”. He went on as if he did not hear me counteract what he had said.
He then told me that the nurse was going to make an appointment with the gynecologist I was still in denial as I was talking to the doctor and nurse. My husband and mom met me as I was leaving the exam room and the doctor told them congratulations, I looked at both and said, “they don’t know what they are talking about and I don’t know why they keep saying that I am pregnant”. I told them that the doctor did not check me for pregnancy. I remained in denial until going to the gynecologist, which confirmed my pregnancy for me.
I told my mom that I did not care about being pregnant and I was not going to be wearing any ugly maternity clothes and no one better not ask me about wearing any. I told my husband that he better promise me that he was not going to tell anyone that I was pregnant because there was nothing good about being pregnant. Surely as quick as I said that to him he was telling his entire family. I stayed upset with him for a couple of days until I saw that he was not listening to me. I went through a stage where my body was trying to miscarry and of course, was alarmed and did not want that to happen.
I went back to the doctor the day after and they had to put me on some hormones and bed rest for a couple of days to keep me from losing the baby. I was approximate 5 1/2 months pregnant before wearing any maturity clothes, which I did not purchase. My birthday was nearing in November and some of the ladies that I was working with at the time bought me a birthday gift and of course it was 3 maternity outfits. When I opened the gift, I began to laugh and say, “thank you but you know that I don’t want any maternity clothes”. I have always been a grateful person for anything anyone has done for me therefore on the following Monday morning there I was at work with one of the outfits on.
The women tried to make me feel good about being pregnant, so they were saying, “Awe isn’t she pretty. As time continued, they fed me anything I wanted as my cravings increased for everything good to eat. As I approached my 9 months and entering labor, this was the worst pain I have ever experienced. During those days, the only relief one would get was Demerol for pain. I was in labor for 18 hours with the last 8 hours being excruciating pain. The arrival of the baby was the first time that I mentally connected with the baby.
I looked at her and said, “She’s so pretty”. When reflecting on this part of my life, I could never imagine not wanting my child. She has been one of the greatest gifts God could have ever given to me. For whoever gets the chance to read my story, just know that you are not alone. Every individual has a story to tell, and this is mine. I hope my story will encourage others.